Flowers are a very old-school way to charm a woman on the first date and let her know that she is desired. But times have changed and men are faced with a tough puzzle of whether this is an act of romance or desperation. And not just times, women have changed as well. Which is why this simple gesture has been subjected to questioning.

Here’s what we think about the legendary flowers on the first date and why it might not be a good idea.

Coming of as the Eager Beaver

There’s a chance that you’ll look desperate and beg for attention. Don’t be the eager beaver, and have some patience. To some women, flowers will be a red alert for a guy who is rushing to tie the knot and get the whole wife and kids, white picket fence thing started. Sounds a bit dramatic, but it is what it is.

You don’t have to put all of your cards on the table on the first date. There’s obviously a difference between complete honesty and complete eagerness. There’s just something about putting it all out there that makes women run for the hills. Don’t make women run in heels if they don’t have to.

Putting Her on the Pedestal

While women like to feel admired and worshiped, there’s a certain boundary where they feel invaded. Flowers on the first date are not just considered a kind gesture anymore, but a signal for a man who’s putting a woman on the pedestal which he doesn’t even know. If you’re really not dying to look like a pushover, save the thoughtful act for another date. And if there’s no second date, then you’ve pinched a few pennies and didn’t waste a perfectly good bouquet of flowers on the wrong woman.

Expecting Too Much

Some women feel that when they are presented with a gorgeous flower bouquet on the first date, they are expected to give something back. This often ends up in thinking you’re expecting the date to end with sex and if you don’t want women to think this right off the bat, hold off on the bouquet just for now. Times have changed and the dating scene isn’t what it used to be. Romance isn’t spontaneous anymore, it has to be well-timed so it doesn’t seem rude or awkward. I guess first dates are soon looking to become worse for guys than a maths test.

The Pressure is on

Sure, you think flowers romantic, but some women feel that it’s just too much pressure. Imagine having the worst first date ever, but you were bestowed with a flower bouquet. This sometimes pressures women into giving a second chance to something they know is going to end up a failure anyways. Think about it guys, do you want to push your date into pursuing something more with you or give her a chance to base her decision without the tokens of kindness that will make her feel pressured into the second date?

But Manners First

Chivalry seems to have become cheesy to many women. It’s almost as if you’re saying, I need to win you over, and it has to happen right now. The thing is not all men are this eager. Some men still consider this just a sweet gesture, something not to knock women off their feet by showing how affectionate they are but simple manners. So if you do decide to go for it, here are a couple of flower picks women won’t stay indifferent too.

  • A single pink rose – signifying you really like this lady and want to show it through a flower.
  • Colourful bouquet of roses – Some say roses are cheesy. We say if you want to go full out, get a bouquet of roses. It doesn’t have to be perfect, as long is it’s not monochrome.
  • Orchids – They are elegant and not necessarily over the top.
  • Tulips – If you don’t want to experiment go for tulips. There’s no woman on this planet that won’t go for tulips.
  • Garden mix – Roses are for passion and love, so if you want to tone down the message a bit, go for a mixture of in-season flower. And don’t go too big, because it’s really awkward dragging around a huge bouquet throughout the entire night. In essence, the simpler and smaller, the cuter it is.

So ladies, flowers – yay or nay? Share your thoughts!