How do you know you have found the one?

The answer to that question is, you don’t. However over the years, women have come up with several reasons to justify why they believe their other half is their soulmate. And here are our favourites.

You’ve been together for years

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Just because the two of you were sweethearts from secondary school, does not mean the two of you are set for life. Things change and so do people. People grow out of clothes and they most certainly, grow out of people too.

Why then, do people call it a waste if they break up ten years after getting together in Secondary One? Isn’t it a good thing you still have time to acquaint yourself with other people? Isn’t it good you didn’t have to enter a marriage that wouldn’t last?

Yet, time and time again people insist that they are meant for each other just because they have invested a substantial amount of time in their relationship. Even when all their friends see through the cracks, they argue that they know what’s best for themselves. But time will tell, and when it does, don’t be surprised and say no one warned you.

He’s good to me

Sure, he remembers your birthday and on Valentine’s he buys you flowers but on any other given day of the year, does he give a rat’s ass about you? No. Are you blind? Yes.

You’re not even married yet and he can’t be extra nice to you on regular days. Think 50 years down the road. Is there going to be a happy ending?

He’s using you and in some ways, you are using him too. Yes, I see you dragging him to your friend’s Christmas party and although he took you as his date to his brother’s wedding, it does not mean you will be walking down the aisle anytime soon to wed him.

Think things through and don’t be in love with the idea of love. His kind gestures every four months are not going to cut it for the rest of your lives.

It’s time to face the music, the two of you are accessories to each other and nothing more. Soulmates? More like no, mate.

I like how he makes me feel

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So he touches you the right way. That’s great. But there’s so much more to intimacy than making love.

Does he care for you when your hair is in a messy bun and you’re barefaced sitting propped up in bed with the sniffles? Because truthfully, that right there is love.

Love is the messiest, purest, most beautiful thing in the world, and it extends exponentially, given the right environment, time but most importantly, person.

If he is truly your other half, he wouldn’t mind bending over backwards once in a while just to see you smile and he most certainly wouldn’t mind cleaning your snot. Because to him, either way, you’re the most incredible girl out there.

All I’m trying to say is, calling your other half your soulmate can come of a little cringeworthy. Especially when all your friends and family see through your sterile and exaggerate happiness.

You may never find the perfect one. And that’s okay. The idea is to make it work, to make it last and somewhere along the way, find happiness together. Even if it means wanting to throttle the other once in a while.


The answer to that question is that you don’t.


Marianne Louise